Marry Me, Legolas!
by MinxyMinx
Summary: 17 year old Tolkien fan girl, Chloe, travels to Middle Earth with the express purpose of finding her beloved favorite character, falling madly in love together, saving the world from Sauron, and living happily ever after. Unfortunately for Chloe, life in ME proves to be much more difficult and vastly different than expected; especially Legolas' seemingly constant bad attitude.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Tolkien's works nor do I own any right to the films or merchandise. This fanfiction is purely for entertainment purposes and to keep my sanity during my son's naptime.

AN: Salutations, friends! I hope you enjoy this little reality check spin on the 10th walker. Review and rate :D

She made it.

She was here. Actually here.

Middle Earth.

"That's what I'm freakin' TALKING about!" Chloe thrust her small fist in the air so hard she felt her shoulder ache in protest. "I freakin' did it! I did the thing! Oh, my god I actually did the thing!" She began to pace back and forth, frantically pushing her long, copper colored hair out of her eyes as she drank in her wild surrounding. The landscape was shockingly green and everything about it screamed 'untouched'. Rolling hills dappled with wild lavender and a few other flowers she didn't recognize seemed to move like water under the breeze. A pair of birds flew overhead, diving around one another gayly while twittering in song. Granted, there was no actual giant sign or physical marker of any kind that said 'welcome to middle earth', but the pure, totally unspoiled beauty that surrounded her was completely unmistakeable. How could a place like this be anything else?

And the air...

Chloe took a breath, hesitantly at first, then deeply. Pulling in everything she could Chloe became almost light headed at the absolute purity of it. She could smell the flowering scent on the wind and it positively elated her. She could almost taste it. There was no pain, either. No coughing, no hacking, and no awful wheezing! She chewed the edge of her blue painted fingernail and swayed lightly, feeling suddenly drunk as a giggle bubbled up into clear outright laughter. A crisp breeze embraced her hard enough to lift the hair off of her shoulders and Chloe shivered in delight, hugging her bare arms and curling her bare toes into the cool earth. A light misty fog clung to the edges of the horizon.

Wait. Bare toes?

"Seriously?!" Chloe gasped at the realization she was still wearing nothing but the light blue hospital gown. No shoes, no pants, and for god's sake not even underwear!? Her head whipped around instinctually as she tugged ferociously at the embarrassingly scant ties in the back. Hospitals had come a long way when it came to their patients modesty but there was still quite a bit to be desired in Chloe's opinion. Gone were the days of having your rear end hanging out but there were still ways to unintentionally expose your goodies, like it or not.

After reassuring herself nothing was showing and she hadn't ended up flashing some poor defenseless elf or dwarf in the distance, another frigid breeze prompted Chloe to start moving. She could forgive the logistics of her state of dress. She took another breath. As mortifying as it was, it wasn't the end of the world because she was _here _and she was going to meet her destiny no matter what.

She was going to marry Legolas.

Chloe sighed reverently, clutching lightly at the sweet flutter in her chest.

"The question is... where, exactly, do I go?" She had seen the movies a thousand times. She had read the book two thousand times. She knew if she was going to meet up with her future husband her best bet was to head to Rivendell and wait him out. Either he'd already be there, getting ready to destroy the one ring or he would probably be on his way, right? Easy choice. Besides, in all the fanfiction she'd ever read all the female leads always ended up in Rivendell one way or another and things always worked out just fine once the got there. They were greeted by Elrond, brought under his tutelage and/or admiration, and in a couple of days (give or take) they met up with the whole Fellowship at the Council of Elrond and snagged themselves a place in the adventure. Simple.

Decision made; she would go to Rivendell.

"Which is in which direction, exactly?" The excitable tremor in her hands had calmed somewhat as she glanced in every direction. "Landmark, landmark...give me a landmark." Green fields in every direction offered no help. Squinting hard, Chloe could vaguely make out a collection of trees in the distance ahead of didn't look like much at first, almost appearing like a grey smudge on the horizon but after another hard look Chloe was certain they were, indeed, trees.

"Elves like trees, right?" Her teeth were starting to chatter and that fact alone was more than good enough for the teenager. After all, she hadn't come all this way to die of exposure. She had a job to do and a handsome, brilliant, sweet elf to marry.

"Onwards!" She squealed, happily pumping a fist into the air and skipping off in her chosen direction. Chloe's elation lasted through many happily sung verses of Disney songs, Sound of Music spins, and flower picking as she made her way. Eventually, though, she ran out of songs. Spinning seemed less fun and more silly and she'd picked as many flowers as she could hold. After a few failed attempts at weaving some sort of flower crown she abandoned the blooms altogether.

After walking long enough for the shock and awe of her arrival to begin wearing thin, Chloe could indeed see the trees more clearly now but other than that... she seemed to be making no progress at all despite the ache in both her legs. The day was gray and misty which made any attempt to guess at the time of day beyond her ability. Her eyes watered immediately if she even tried to glance upwards through the bright gray sky to seek out the sun. How long had she been walking? Five minutes? Twenty minutes? An hour? More? Chloe found herself beginning to frown.

The idea of taking a rest and sitting had cropped up more than once but the grass, which now reached well past her ankles, was still very wet with mist or dew or possibly an earlier rain. Chloe was already dressed in glorified bedsheets and she refused to suffer the indignity of a wet bottom as well. She was even beginning to sweat, despite the chill in the air. Grunting in annoyance she plodded on, hissing every other step as the bottoms of her feet met with some sort of twig, bramble, sharp stone, and on one occasion a very bewildered frog.

It was only when her muscles began to ache to the point that Chloe relented to a sort of strange crouch, that the small smattering of trees became visually apparent. A few more minutes of walking and many stops to crouch and rest she could tell they weren't just a few trees after all, it was actually a full blown wood. Chloe would even go as far as to say it was a forest. This perked her up immensely as she wobbled to her feet. Elves lived in forests, right? Or at least Legolas did. Maybe she was actually closer to Mirkwood?

"You know, in the films, they didn't nearly spend enough time on the walking aspect, I think." Chloe huffed, swatting at the errant mosquitos that had decided to make their presence known. While Chloe had surely understood middle earth was it's own world, the sheer _vastness _had understandably escaped her until she came face to face with actually _crossing _it.

Chloe had never even walked a mile before but this felt like at least ten of them. Possibly twenty. Walking wasn't supposed to be this hard, was it? She growled, smacking her forearm and hopefully a mosquito as well. Her ankles itched with the constant brushing of the cold, wet grass and she nearly groaned with relief when the foliage finally tapered off as she approached the edge of the forest. This offered a more mossy, dirt packed ground than the meadow she'd arrived at and had been traveling through for god knew how long now.

She did sit down then, still opting for an awkward sort of side-sit in case any dew seepage occured. Her stomach gurgled slightly, a nudging reminder that she hadn't eaten yet. She itched, she stank, and she was starting to feel numb in her toes; she was _not_ adding dirty butt to the list. Chloe sighed.

"I hope the elves have sandwiches or, like, a wrap or something." They seemed like wrap people; lots of lettuce and thin breads and stuff like that. Chloe braced her hands against the ground before pulling them back immediately, frowning at the wet dirt that clung to them. She brushed them off against each other as best she could but even after reluctantly using her gown to wipe them they were _still _stained dark with sticky earth. She didn't need to look at the bottoms of her feet to guess they were in way worse shape. She shivered again. The wind was practically biting now.

"What the hell season is this even?!" It had been mid-July when she'd...left. Judging by the icy crispness of the weather here it was looking more like late autumn... or early spring. Chloe stood, rubbing her arms awkwardly with the clean backs of her hands and began to proceed into the forest.

The trees were thick and tall and it was only on the youngest and shortest ones she could make out tiny white flower buds. Hardly any of the trees had more than a handful of bright green leaves.

"Oh, spring, then." Chloe mumbled to herself. Where would that put her timeline wise? The book told her it would be winter before the Fellowship set off to save everyone but the films clearly depicted an early autumn. Chloe sighed impatiently at the idea of having to wait all summer and possibly all autumn for Legolas to arrive.

She could always send word, Chloe supposed, stepping over a downed tree sapling. Not that she was sure, exactly, of what 'sending word' entailed but people used the term fairly frequently in all the fanfiction she'd read. Was is some sort of carrier pigeon system, she wondered? Or perhaps something more magic related if it involved the elves. Chloe momentarily pictured some sort of sophisticated tree walkie talkie system. That idea perked her up momentarily as she debated what, exactly, she might say to her future husband that would prompt his immediate arrival.

_Prince of Mirkwood, you don't know me but come to Rivendell it's very important... Love, Chloe_

_Dear Legolas, I've come to help you save the world as you know it. Also, could you bring a dress or something is size Medium?_

_Hello, it's me your wife (or soon to be) I need you to come pick me up please?_

None of these sounded particularly eloquent and left Chloe half wondering if any of it might sound more put together in elvish? If only she could write more than a handful of words…

Researching the elvish language had started out as a top priority but it wasn't more than a few vowels past _Mellon nin_ that Chloe hit an absolute grammatical roadblock. The world wide web was more than a little spotty when it came to the elvish languages and after tripping over the deep defined historical context of Sindarin vs Quenya vs Ancient Noldorin Chloe's head was spinning. She had, however, managed to master one key phrase:

"_Gi melin, Legolas." _I love you, Legolas. Chloe's pale cheeks reddened saying it aloud. She'd whispered it to herself countless times sometimes even in front of the nurses after yet another blood draw. It had been total gibberish to them and thus her own personal secret. Here, however, you were just as likely to find elvish speakers as you were to come across a Spanish speaker in the real world. Meaning, It wouldn't exactly be a 'secret' anymore.

"_Gi melin, Legolas." _Chloe repeated to herself, a little louder this time. Her cheeks blazed with heat but she forced her shoulders back and repeated it again and again, louder and louder until she was fairly shouting. She _had _to be comfortable saying it outloud if she was planning on saying it to his _face_, right? The idea seemed daunting at first but Chloe pictured Legolas' charming reaction; a bright smile, perhaps even a delighted laugh? Maybe even a kiss-

A branch cracked loudly behind her and Chloe froze, hands flying to her mouth. Jiminy frickin crickets. It was the elves, wasn't it!? The scene as the Fellowship tread into Lorien territory flew to memory. Embarrassed heat filled her face at the prospect of turning around to face the probable _dozens _of armed elves with confused and possibly very judgemental faces. What a first impression! She probably looked like an idiot! She groaned.

"Okay, can we rewind and you all pretend you didn't hear that just now? Like, any of that?" Chloe took a deep, steadying breath and turned around mustering up her very best 'pleased to meet you I promise I'm not crazy' smile.

The wolf stood barely fifty feet from her, eyeing her intently as it crouched.

It was a fair guess the wolf hadn't been judging her bold declaration of love.


	2. Chapter 2

Chloe had never seen a real wolf before. Not even at the zoo. She'd only seen them in movies and they had simply looked like largish dogs. Something similar to the size of a husky.

This was _not_ a husky.

This creature was so large, it seemed to dominate the space around it. Patchy, dark gray fur surrounded pale yellow eyes that sized her up in a way that made her feel the smallest she'd ever been. One eye in particular seemed clouded over with some sort of white film which only added to the sinister look she was receiving. It took a few steps forward.

Chloe gasped and the wolf stopped, still watching her intensely.

_Are you going to run? _Head cocked, his gaze begged the question. It was a good question, Chloe thought as her heart begin to hammer inside her chest. Was she going to run? Did she even remember how? Standing there, eyes locked on the predator, Chloe felt rooted to the ground. The term 'fight or flight' surfaced vaguely in the back of her mind. What were you supposed to do if you couldn't do either? She couldn't outrun a friggin' wolf. She could barely outrun her grandmother's Yorkie.

The idea of facing the wolf head on seemed equally absurd, if not moreso. The animal's jaw was easily the length of her forearm and its paws even larger than her own hands. The wind blew again and for the first time since she had arrived Chloe didn't feel it.

The wolf took one quick step forward and Chloe jumped back slightly, a sort of high pitched keening sound emerging from the back of her throat. The wolf continued to watch her, unblinking, lip curling every now and again.

_You're not going to run_, the wolf seemed to say as its posture suddenly relaxed, becoming more confident as it began to stride forward. Chloe began backing up without thinking, slowly at first than faster to match the wolf's pace. Desperate to keep some semblance of distance between them, she ignored the various sharp sticks and foliage her feet came into contact with as she backed away.

The wolf didn't lunge forward so much as lazily dart, but even without the power of a full fledged attack, when it's teeth took hold of her ankle it didn't take much force at all to knock her to the ground.

It wasn't the bite that made her scream. It wasn't even the same type of pain Chloe had anticipated a bite might be which was sharp and tearing. It felt cold in all honesty. Like someone had dunked her leg in a vat of ice water. The real pain was in the pressure. Her leg was going to be crushed. Chloe shrieked as the wolf tugged and tugged again. Her hands moved on their own and it was only in the very back of her mind Chloe felt some relief that the 'fight' instinct had finally kicked in; that she even _had _instinct was something.

It wasn't even going to bother to kill her, Chloe thought as she continued to be dragged off. _Sit up, punch it, go for the eyes!_ Her brain screamed at her as she had began to howl in pain. She tried. God, she tried but even with all the adrenaline coursing through her body any attempt to sit up or even swing at the wolf's massive head was cut short with one swift _yank _on her ankle. This left Chloe crying, screaming, and reaching for something, _anything_, as she was dragged across the forest floor in jerky, almost lazy motions.

A second wolf howled in the distance. Then a third.

They were going to _eat_ her.

She was going to be eaten alive.

_Eaten. Alive. _

The sobbing and delirium came quickly after that realization. Chloe's body began to feel cold all over and exceptionally heavy as she lamely swatted at the predator, gasping, as he continued pulling her towards her death. The hospital gown rode up obscenely as she thrashed and her long hair tangled in everything it came in contact with. Rational thought escaped her completely so Chloe didn't even begin to question the simple phrase that continuously fell from her lips.

"_G-Gi melin, Legolas! Gi m-m-melin, Legolas! Gi melin, Legolas!" _Like some dark mantra of farewell to a person she hadn't even met yet, Chloe sobbed the words with every dull yank.

A wolf in the distance howled again but this time the howl was abruptly cut short.

The wolf dragging her stopped, pausing to tilt an ear to the horizon. Chloe panted hard as it stood there, crouched over her, with her ankle still firmly in its mouth. Numbly, Chloe noted how red her entire left leg was as she felt the unmistakable sensation of her bladder emptying itself. The wolf couldn't have paused more than a moment when the arrow pierced its clouded eye with enough force to knock it to the ground. It dropped her leg.

The wolf and Chloe both screamed in pain.

The enormous beast howled as it thrashed to and fro, tossing up fallen leaves and blindly careening into trees, completely careless of the thick arrow shaft which still protruded awkwardly from its bloody eye socket. A new surge of strength jettisoned through her body and Chloe managed to roll onto all fours. Her heart was beating so hard inside her chest she idly wondered if she was having a heart attack. Chloe gasped at the shooting pain that ran riotously up and down her leg with every movement of her left side.

The sound of her gulping breaths was only surpassed by the noise the wolf continued to make as it threw itself around, snapping it jaws and slamming into the smaller sapling trees. A soft rushing sound met her ears as Chloe strained to drag her abused limb behind her. Still muttering her mantra as she met the edge of what she realized was a small cliff. It wasn't a terribly large cliff, only twelve maybe thirteen feet until one met the river below.

It was the river which was the source of the rushing sound, Chloe realized as she looked down. The river, unlike the cliff she lay sprawled over, was quite large and fast moving. The deep, dark blue color suggested it was actually quite deep despite not being very large across. It was almost peaceful to just lay here and listen to the water…

_Wake up! _

Chloe gasped as she realized that falling asleep right now, especially here in this horrid place, was not conducive to survival. Chloe could still vaguely hear the wolf snapping and slamming into the trees behind her. Who knew when it would come back to its senses and return to her for an easy meal. Chloe didn't dare look back. Walking, even crawling, was getting her nowhere fast. Chloe looked down at the water.

But maybe floating was doable?

The water was moving fast enough to help her along downstream and away from the beast and she could ride the current until she found a safe spot to swim to shore. Chloe was surprised how little time she needed before taking a deep breath and rolling off the edge. As she was falling she vaguely heard what sounded like words behind shouted at her. She only had a moment to consider the arrow that had struck the wolf had to come from somewhere. Chloe hit the water and forgot all about the arrow.

It was so cold she screamed.

Underwater, nobody could hear it as she struggled to the surface. Now instead of just her leg hurting her entire body throbbed. Chloe's half baked idea of leisurely floating to safety went completely tits up as she broke the surface and her injured leg smacked right into what felt like part of a downed tree that had been submerged. Rocks, roots, branches, and other things she couldn't identify slammed into her as she was positively tossed back and forth with the current. Coughing and sputtering, Chloe struggled to maintain some semblance of focus on her general direction as well as staying afloat.

Locating a safe place to attempt to hoist herself ashore was equally challenging. Most of the riverbank was covered with shrubbery, brambles, and very unwelcoming woodpiles Chloe assumed were dams and the longer she stayed in the water the number and drunker she was beginning to feel. It was starting to feel good to slide under the water's surface and just let the river carry her. Time seemed to move at a crawl one moment and then speed around her the next as she just hung there, weightless and drifting…

_Legolas_…

A particularly pointy branch jabbed her in the side and the jolt pulled Chloe out of her deadly daze. That hadn't been sleep she'd been drifting into. A sudden wave of exhaustion seemed to drag her down further, as if sensing her rising resolve. Her limbs weighed a thousand pounds, she was sure of it. Aside from that she couldn't feel anything and if Chloe was being totally honest with herself she was only half certain which way was actually up. None of that mattered.

If she was going to die here then that was fine. Drowning was looking hella more peaceful that eaten by wolves so there was that. But, she had already made it all this way. She had made the impossible possible. She was in a whole different _world_. She owed it to herself and her love for the Mirkwood prince to try.

One. More. Time.

Chloe started kicking. The water was dark enough by itself but it mattered little since she could barely keep her eyes open anyway. She just kicked. Was she going deeper? Sideways? It didn't matter, she just kicked. When she finally broke the surface it was the surprise that actually opened her eyes. She realized in an instant she was definitely not where she had started out. The two men dressed in pale colored robes standing at the edge of the water and staring at her, nearly slack jawed, was the first tip off.

One man was tall and willowy thin with light brown hair. The other stood nearly as tall and much broader with deep blue robes and dark hair.

_A swimmers build_. The irony was not lost on her as Chloe struggled to stay afloat.

Not men, Chloe realized as she sailed right on past them. They were elves. The clothes, the hair, the ears... Chloe saw it all clear as day. The other thing that became instantly apparent was that even though she was now above water she still wasn't breathing. She had just started to slip back under the water when a strong grip hoisted her back up.

It was the darker elf. Chloe wondered how he had gotten over to her so quickly. She almost asked him as he half swam half dragged her towards land but she was still unable to breathe, much less form a sentence. The shoreline here was clear of the debris and overgrowth that had plagued the beginning of her waterlogged journey. It was almost manicured.

The taller elf met them at the shoreline and reached out to help pull her to safety. It seemed to be more out of politeness than need since the darker elf that had hold of her had no trouble at all plopping her onto the grass, flipping her face down, and hammering against her back with the palm of his hand.

She began to vomit water immediately. Her entire body convulsed with it until there was nothing left and her body was simply heaving and shaking in futility. She was suffocating and Chloe gripped the wet grass, eerily familiar with the sensation.

Another hard strike to her back seemed to do the trick and Chloe was finally coughing, pulling in air in choppy, labored breaths. She collapsed, unable to even remain on all fours. Arms caught her on all sides, turning her over gently and preventing her from falling face first into the mud. Somewhere in the midst Chloe even felt a pair of hands quickly smooth down the soaked hospital gown in a well meaning effort to preserve her dignity. Chloe wasn't sure who it was as multiple faces peered down at her. The two elves had been joined now by a third, a woman, who spoke rapidly and seemed more than a little out of breath.

_Draug_ the woman kept repeating. She was an elf too, with hair just as dark at the one who'd pulled her out of the water. They all began to speak at once, to her and to each other. Hands, frantic and hurried, ran over her whole body as they all began to turn over every inch of her like a parent would after their child sustained some sort of fall or close call. Their ministrations were almost lulling and Chloe felt her eyes begin to slide shut when a fierce hand gripped her face and forced her gaze to the elf in blue who had saved her.

He said something to the others in a commanding, almost waspish tone Chloe felt very unbecoming of an elf. If she had to guess it was probably 'shut up' seeing as the other two immediately ceased speaking. His severe gaze fell on her and Chloe suddenly felt like apologizing for some reason. He spoke slowly and clearly with great purpose but alas, it was elvish.

Chloe didn't speak freaking elvish.

A delirious giggle bubbled up past her lips as Chloe said the only thing worth saying; the only thing she _could_ say.

"_Gi melin, Legolas." _

She then proceeded to pass the hell out.


End file.
